My Mommy Sleeps Like a Mummy

I used to make fun of my mommy because of the way she sleeps.  She expertly wraps herself in countless blankets much like ancient Egyptian embalmers going to town on the latest deceased pharaoh.  The only sign there is a living being under all the comforters is a nose poking out for air.  If she could, she would sleep with a snorkel.

Now I find myself doing the exact same thing.  I'm a 31 year-old man, and I've become my mommy.  That's kinda gay.

In my defense I'll say it's cold here—freakin' cold.  It's way colder than Los Angeles ever was.  It's so damn cold, you can see your breath.  Now that's cold.

I don't like to run the heater all night because it messes up my sinuses and runs up quite a power bill.  So yeah...I'm an eco-conscious cheapskate with healthy sinuses.  You've learned something about me today.

And I've learned something about science: A lot of heat escapes out of your head.  The brain is the CPU of the body, so it runs hot.  Wrapping the noggin in blankets when you sleep really makes a difference.   It makes me wonder if I'll be warm wearing nothing but a knit beanie.  Maybe I'll try that someday.  I'll probably end up getting arrested, though.  Damn.