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How To Look Awesome

If you want to look awesome like I do, then follow these simple rules.

Do something about losing your hair.
If you're losing your hair, then do 1 of 3 things:
  • Shave your head.  Or at least crop your hair short.
  • Take hair meds like Propecia.
  • Get a hair transplant.  And go to a good place.  Don't go to a place that's gonna make your head look like a pasta strainer.
For God's sake, please don't sport the bar-code comb-over look.  That's NOT awesome, and you're not foolin' anybody.

Lose weight.

If you're American, there's a 34% chance you're over-weight.  Stop eating so much and get some exercise, fatty.  A slim, healthy body is way more awesome than a pudgy, nasty one.

Stand up straight.
Your mother was right in telling you not to slouch.  The hunchback look is

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I Was A Freak

I went through a really weird phase my first year of college.  Maybe it was the unchecked freedom granted after high school graduation, or an overdeveloped need to assert my individuality, or the weed I was smoking--but in short I became a freak.  I still am a freak to this day, but 1995-1996 was on a totally different level of freakishness.

The Pekkle Pager Case
Like I said I just had to be different.  I still had a pager while most were already converting to cell phones.  My pager was encased in a bright blue nylon Sanrio "Pekkle" pager case [Pekkle was Sanrio's duck character counterpart to Hello Kitty].  It was quite an odd sight for an 18 year-old guy.  I think those that saw it (including my family) questioned my sexual orientation.

Facial Hair
Like every boy in 1995, I tried to grow a goatee.  But in my case I didn't quite have the hormones for it.  The beyond-platinum blond hair above my upper lip refused to

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My Bout With Stealing and Subsequent Family Drama

At the ripe young age of 12, I briefly experimented with the fine art of thievery.  The idea came from my then-in-college brother who had returned for summer break with more Nintendo games than the "Angry Video Game Nerd."  His initial story was that the games were the natural result of winning the grand prize in a video game contest in the Bay Area.  The story made perfect sense--my brother was a superbly talented video game player, and the Bay Area was the national headquarters for video game contests at the time.

Surprisingly, my brother revealed the truth about the games to me.  He said they came from

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It's All You

The only person I can 100% depend on is myself.  If I want something done, it's up to me to do it.  If I require another person's assistance, it's up to me to sufficiently motivate that other person to act.  Leaders are in the position of leadership because they are blessed with something that separates them from those being lead.  They have the talent and/or resources to call others to action on their behalf.  Take George Bush and Barack Obama, for example.  George Bush had the re$ources to obtain his position, while Obama clearly has the leadership talent.

If you're not a leader of others, then 

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Talent and Building Confidence

I suddenly realized that all people in this world are blessed with incredible talent, but what separates the rich and famous from those not so is often confidence (or the appearance of confidence).  If you can confidently broadcast your talent to a large audience, you're money.  If the audience truly digs your talent, then you're even more money.  Building such confidence takes a lot of practice, and trial and error, however.  It's almost as difficult--if not more so--than acquiring the talent in the first place.

Therefore, my goal is to exchange my hesitation and nervousness for the life-learning experience of it all.  A failure is not a bad thing as it inevitably provides more valuable feedback than success.  I shouldn't label them "failures," but "learning experiences."  To fully do so, I'll have to kill any and all personal interest in what others think of me.  I needn't be bothered with 

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Things My Parents Did Right

A lot of people criticize their parents for everything they did wrong when raising them.  When I look at couples with kids, I think, "Damn.  That doesn't look easy."  Dirty diapers, public temper tantrums, teen pregnancies, and memories of how much of a pain in the ass I must have been don't exactly encourage me to impregnate my wife-to-be any time soon.  I dunno how they did it, but my parents raised 4 kids.  They weren't perfect, and we're far from perfect, but here are some great things they did that have paid off time and time again in my adult life:

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