How You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long

Saturday, 28 January 2012 21:15

You bow when talking on the phone.
You've figured out kanji for your name.
You have a personal inkan and a koseki, and you know what those are.
You've accidentally said 「お疲れ様です」 to a friend from your native country.
You take your shoes off when visiting your native country.
You get upset when having to use a toilet without a heated seat and butt spray.
You forget to tip when visiting your native country.
You've gotten stuck in the door when rushing for the train on multiple occasions
You've been scolded by train station staff for rushing into the train on multiple occasions.
The first thing that pops into your head on a cold day is 「寒いですね！」
You freak out when you see people wearing shoes in the house.
You know the names of all 48 members of AKB48.
You like natto.
You're so good with chopsticks you can catch flies.
You've corrected a Japanese person's kanji stroke order on multiple occasions.
You feel guilty about leaving work on time.
When someone asks you how long you've lived in Japan, you simply reply, "Too long."
When someone compliments you, you deny it replying 「いいえ、いいえ」.
You make that chopping hand motion when moving through a crowd of people.
You say etto and ano when thinking or pausing.
You make that sucking sound some Japanese men make.
You slurp noodles like a pro.
You're sitting on the floor when everyone else is in chairs.
Visiting your native country feels like visiting a foreign country, and returning to Japan feels like coming home.
You have more point cards than blood cells.
People tell you you've been in Japan too long.
Japanese people think you're Japanese.
You say eeeeeeeeh when surprised.
You've driven one of those black vans demanding all foreigners leave.
You no longer suck at math.
You're 20 kg lighter than you were when you moved to Japan.
You think Disneyland is the awesomest place in the freakin' universe.
You own over 5 Louis Vuitton products.
When you first came to Japan you had blonde hair and blue eyes, but now you have dark hair and brown eyes.
You smell like cigarettes and soy sauce.
You've forgotten your native language.
People call you Tanaka-san.
You teach Japanese people Japanese.
You fold plastic bags into 2 cm triangles.
You wear jeans and a skirt in the same outfit.
You use both hands when handing another person something.
You've appeared on television saying 「おいしい！」
You've forgotten when the 4th of July is.
You can no longer pronounce "r" or "th."
You're a ninja.
You flash the peace sign when posing for a picture.
You wear a surgical mask during hay-fever season.
The novel you're reading has a paper cover on it.
You ignore phone calls on the train, but get off at the next platform and call back.
You drink those vitamin energy drinks while working overtime.
You eat noodles at a standing bar-type noodle shop, and you drink all the soup.
You love the Eagles and Bae Yong Joon.
You cover your mouth when you laugh.
You can sleep standing up on the train.