(Photo by ShashiBellamkonda/Flickr)

Malcolm Gladwell does what I do. He uses research to explain human behavior. His unconventional conclusions can be read in his bestselling books The Tipping Point and Blink, both of which I enjoyed. He also has written for The New Yorker and The Washington Post. For the record, he is much better than I am. Gladwell is LeBron James. I am the guy who says, “I just saw LeBron James at the mall. He was buying pants.”
 
Like many Americans, I received Gladwell’s new book Outliers for Christmas. Outliers attempts to explain why some people are successful. Gladwell fills 285 pages with fascinating research that makes mundane topics like why some people excel at math – the answer is rice paddies – come alive. Gladwell sees the world the way LeBron sees the court. He knows what just happened, why it happened and what will happen next. (I see the world the way former Cavs guard Craig Ehlo saw the court – like a guy with limited offensive skills who is good for the occasional three-pointer.)
 
My respect for Gladwell runs deep, which is why reviewing Outliers proved to be a difficult task. While I enjoyed learning the information he uncovered, and agreed with some of his minor conclusions, I did not agree with his premise.

Malcolm Gladwell is wrong.

I cannot believe I just wrote that. It is like writing “Bruce Springsteen hates the working man” or “Ryan Seacrest is a national treasure” or “My wife and I are letting Gary Busey watch the baby tonight.” It does not sound right.

Gladwell’s premise is that phenomenally successful people do not create their success. According to Gladwell, people like Bill Gates and the members of The Beatles are the beneficiaries of cultural patterns, timing or luck. Gladwell told New York magazine, “The book’s saying, ‘Great people aren’t so great. Their own greatness is not the salient fact about them. It’s the kind of fortunate mix of opportunities they’ve been given.’”

To take one example, Gladwell points out that a young Bill Gates enjoyed the following advantages: 1.) He attended Lakeside High School, which had the rare distinction of housing a time-share computer terminal in 1968 2.) The mothers at Lakeside paid the school’s computer fees 3.) One of his classmate’s parents worked at a company that employed Gates and other students to check code on weekends and allowed the students to use the company’s computers late at night 4.) Gates also worked at a company that gave him free computer time in return for working on software that automated company payrolls 5.) Gates lived within walking distance of the University of Washington 6.) The university had free computer time 7.) TRW, which needed programmers for a project, called a guy who was impressed with Gates 8.) The guy TRW called recommended Gates for a job 9.) Gates convinced his high school to let him spend spring term of his senior year writing code for TRW.

It is easy to see the Gladwellian point of view. Without the high school computer, the mothers and the good networking contacts, maybe Gates does not revolutionize personal computing. But Gladwell does not allow for the possibility that Gates’ drive and intelligence would have found an outlet without those advantages. Gladwell thinks that one of the brightest minds of our time would have been hindered permanently by lack of immediate access to opportunity. Gladwell thinks Gates is lucky. Yet the harder Gates worked, the luckier he got. I agree that circumstances gave him advantages, but I cannot agree that Gates would not have become a phenomenal success if his life had not marched down that exact path. (Had the Microsoft founder forged a different path, maybe Windows would work properly.)

(A man attempting to install Windows software shows heroic restraint by not hurling his Dell across the room. Photo by cogdogblog/Flickr.)

Outliers is a good book filled with interesting information. I found the chapter on how culture affects piloting an airplane fascinating. But I do not agree with Gladwell’s sunnily cynical view of human achievement. He shortchanges the fact that without talent and drive, it is the circumstances that do not matter.
 
Much like LeBron, Gladwell is going to miss occasionally.

What I respect about both men is that they like to take big shots.

Note: Next week’s column, which I promise will be funnier, will focus on what I think Outliers got right.

I respect the man for persevering after his stroke. He is a fine example to us all about the power of overcoming misfortune and ill health. But someone needs to end this madness. Is there an honest person in this man’s life?

(Photo by Alyssa Ratowski)

My resolution: No matter what happens in 2009, I will continue spending my afternoons with this giant beaver.

Happy New Year,
Joe

Note: I live for letters like this one. Enjoy.
- Joe

Dear Joe,

Life had been going pretty well for me this year. In fact, 2008 was possibly my best year ever.

That was all until I opened JoeDonatelli.com on November 13th. Joe immediately knows what I’m talking about. For the rest of you, it was this entry, titled “How will The Shield end?”

About two years ago, my brother told me about that show. I watched the first season, thought it was pretty cool, but then moved to L.A. and had other things to do.

But then November 13th happened. And Joe, so infatuated with this TV series, convinced me to catch up with it so that I could see for myself how it would end and if any of Joe’s picks would be remotely close to accurate.

And so it began: the last month and a half spent wasting loads of free time watching every single episode to this hateful TV drama filled with negative energy. And I got hooked. Bad.

The more I watched, the more addicted I became. The more addicted I became, the more my life began to unravel. I started losing sleep due to dreams of Claudette Whims and Vic Mackey interrogating me. My blood pressure and pulse rate rose. Work projects suffered. I trusted no one. Social contacts were dropped. I had two of the most miserable, sleep-deprived workouts of my life. I even turned down a Saturday night of easy sex to stay in and watch two more episodes (that and this new protein powder I’d been sampling gave me the most awful gas of my entire life.)  I even considered finding Lt. Kavanaugh and killing him myself. I would never prescribe this much police drama to anybody, even one of JoeDonatelli.com’s family members.

To make matters worse, on the morning of my birthday, I watched my favorite character get blown to pieces by a hand grenade. I nearly lost it.

All in all, I envision that I destroyed about 60 hours of quality time due to JoeDonatelli.com - time that could have been spent working with customers, marketing the Web site, reading useful business books or god forbid having sex. Instead, I watched spiteful, deceit-filled drama until I either fell asleep or snapped at my roommate for breathing the same air as me.

But finally, on the night of Christmas day 2008, I made it. I watched The Shield up to the last episode. I went straight to the now-hated JoeDonatelli.com and found his post from November 13th. I agreed with none of his ten predictions, and muttered “what an asshole” under my breath.

And then I watched the final episode, and had the same contemplative reaction as just about everyone else did. And I went back onto JoeDonatelli.com to read his final review and noted that the pick he gave 1,000,000-to-1 odds was the closest one to coming true! What an asshole indeed.

I’ll continue to read JoeDonatelli.com in the important matters of dating (warming up your sets), the misery of being from Cleveland, and the massive differences between Marina Del Rey, CA, and Santa Monica, CA, (which when thinking about while in Cleveland right now seem quite miniscule). But when it comes to popular culture and media, I will gladly pass.

Now, your typical JoeDonatelli.com writer would probably say, (in some nasally and insulting writer voice that shows poignant indignation), “Well that proves what a great show it was. It was so well-written that you were drawn in and it affected your life, never to be the same again.”

To which I say, “Fuck you, JoeDonatelli.com, fuck you.”

- Mike, of PricePlow, Los Angeles

Second Column podcast guest Alysia Wood, a standup comic based in L.A., gave us a nice shoutout in her holiday widget. Thanks, Alysia.