If you're in America right now, I'm really jealous of your horn of plenty that is American TV. I took my home country's TV for granted, and now I realize how good I really had it. The USA makes the best freakin' TV shows in the world, and to quote the most awesome guy in the universe Joe Donatelli, "right now is the Golden Era of Television." I soon realized shortly after moving to Japan that Japanese TV sucks ass. Let me explain the primary reasons...
No Budget Japanese TV producers are either given no money to make a decent show or they just don't care. Whatever the reason, they spend next to nothing on producing crappy TV entertainment, and it shows. I spend more on my own YouTube videos than they do on their TV shows.
Many shows fall into 1 or more of the following 4 categories:
People sitting around on a gaudy 1970s Las Vegas-looking set and talking--usually about current events or stupid stuff that other people on the show did or said.
People eating food far superior to whatever you're eating at the time and making a huge deal out of how delicious it is. This is the perfect show to watch while you eat Cup Noodle after a hard day of shoveling heaps of corporate donkey shit. Pour yourself another glass of vodka to wash down the MSG noodles, then cry yourself to sleep.
People playing some trivia game or Japanese kanji quiz on a gaudy 1970s Las Vegas-looking set.
People watching videos or re-enactments of stories from the USA, Europe, Australia, etc. Flash back to the gaudy 1970s Las Vegas-looking set, and the celebrity guests will comment on whatever top YouTube video was just shown. Shameless robbery of Western entertainment wallowing in sheer laziness. Well, I suppose the West steals from the East at times too, but this just pisses me off.
Then there are Japanese dramas. Sometimes good writing makes up for the lack of budget, but the fact that they often film them in and around the TV station's office building severely limits the show's creative stretch. If the show is on Fuji TV, you'll see Fuji's offices in just about every drama. They'll almost never build a set, and the rare times they do, it will look like the set from your high school's production of "Carousel." The reason behind this lies in the 3-month cycle that all Japanese dramas follow. A drama is on for 3 months, then done. Unlike kick-ass American shows like "Lost," their dramas don't go season after season. Why spend money on a set for a 3-month show?
Stage Acting Aspiring Japanese actors and actresses are obviously trained in stage acting and not TV acting. Stage acting is meant to be big and exaggerated so that audience members in the back of the theater can see, hear, and appreciate the stage action. TV acting should be far more subtle because the camera puts the audience in close proximity to the players. Over-acting is unnecessary. Watch an American TV show from the 1950s, and you'll see plenty of stage acting. Fortunately, we matured out of it. Japan hasn't yet.
Most Japanese actors and actresses tragically overact. It's so obnoxious that any shred of entertainment value remaining drips directly from the abysmal performance. It's like watching bad karaoke. It's so bad it's entertaining (for the first 3 minutes).
Always Dubbing, Never Subtitling When they do show an American movie, they most often dub it in Japanese as opposed to subtitle it. So obnoxious. Every Hollywood blockbuster is instantly transformed into a cheezy 1970s kung fu movie. I wanna hear Jessica Alba's sexy voice, dammit!
Johnny's Boys The largest and most famous talent agency in Japan specializes in boy bands. After paying their dues as hot pants-clad, pretty-boy singers, these boys inevitably end up being the next generation of actors, announcers, and commentators on TV. Imagine Hanson reading your daily news to you. Imagine the New Kids on the Block commentating on Obama's administration. Imagine Marky Mark in big Hollywood movies. Oh, wait...that actually happened. Well, it's still freakin' obnoxious--kinda like the way I keep over-using the word "freakin'."
What's Up With All the Transvestites? Japanese must love transvestites because they're all over the TV. "Whoa! That chick is hot...oh wait...that's a man...dammit...got me again." Where transvestites in the US often fulfill a "circus freak" role; those in Japan enjoy "standard" entertainment jobs as announcers, comedians, and commentators. One is even featured on a commercial for women's leg-shaving gel. Yeah, if I were a woman, that would be my brand of choice. Just as Jewish people rule the American entertainment industry, gay people must rule the Japanese one. I gotta remember to wear a black muscle shirt to my next audition.
Conclusion This is where you tell me, "Hey David! If Japanese TV sucks so much ass, then don't watch it!" I won't. Luckily, I recently implemented an XBMC PC loaded with the "Navi-X" python script. You're totally cool if you know what that is. This computer dork gadget/software gathers hundreds of online video feeds so that I can enjoy as much Discovery channel, Animal Planet, and Angry Video Game Nerd as my soy sauce-marinated heart desires.
Although this article was intended to rag on Japanese TV, rarely do I find that things in life are that clear-cut. Japanese TV does have 2 saving graces:
There is no shortage of cute girls on Japanese TV. God bless them for that. I'm like a dog reacting to a loud sound. My eyes and ears will focus on it for a bit, then I'll get back to biting my balls. It's the cheapest form of stimulation and the highest form of marketing, and every TV show production company in every corner of the universe knows that. Japan is just far more obvious about it compared with the USA. Cute young girls will sit in the background on talk shows. Imagine 20 hot young models just sitting in the background on the set of Oprah. Then my mom and I could both watch together. Now that's awesome marketing.
Japan has a show where they mess with animals in the most hilarious ways. For example, one show messed with one of those professional frisbee-catching dogs. They substituted a frisbee with other similar objects (like giant cookies) and watched the confused expression on the dog's face as he caught (and destroyed) them. The best was when they tossed a disc of raw pizza dough, and the dog's face got encased in it. Now that's entertainment! If they tried that in the USA, PETA would probably be all over their ass.
Now that I think about it, I should be grateful that Japanese TV sucks. Not watching it allows me far more free time to work on more creative and constructive endeavors (like writing this blog article). Nevertheless--dear fellow American--the next time you switch on your TV, say a pledge of allegiance for me. Don't take what you've got for granted, you lucky couch potato mofo.
You forgot to mention that the variety shows are recorded in front of a live studio audience of young girls who unleash a constant stream of "eeeeeeeeehhhhh!?"
C-List celeb: "I actually enjoy eating ice cream while sitting on the couch at home." Audience: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?!!?!?!"
I can't stand the "eeehh"'s
+3
... written by Mondaiji,
August 29, 2009
True, but I figured only us foreigners living here would know what the "EEEHHHHHH!" was. Plus, I recently learned that those "eeeehhhh"s are most often pre-recorded sound clips that are mixed into the audio. Makes it all the more loud and obnoxious for ya.
+0
... written by Chris,
March 09, 2010
I'll add a couple more points to your otherwise dead-on assessment. Those people, not the beautiful models, on the 70's Vegas variety shows all have the strangest gimmicky costumes, Hard Gay, sunglasses 24 hours a day, or I'm fat and can eat a lot, need I say more. And what's up with the overlay on featured stories. You know that "picture in picture" mode they do when they cover something really emotional, so you can see the talents crying. It's like the studio is showing you the appropriate emotions every good Japanese should be having in reaction to what's on screen. As far as the eating shows go, I've always thought the quivering, smoking closeups they do of the food makes it look worse rather than more appealing. Looks like the guy is having a seizure, perhaps he's watching pokemon. And though this is related to Japanese commercials (especially beer) but what's up with the amplified gulping sounds when people drink frosty beverages...ewww..
+0
... written by Mondaiji,
March 25, 2010
Excellent points. I was told that the picture-in-picture showing reactions is related to Japan's group-based society. They show the facial reactions to affirm the reactions of those watching at home.
+1
... written by Adam,
April 26, 2010
One thing that's dawned on me in the last few months is that whenever a freak story is told about someone in another country, it often cuts to the 70's set and everyone makes funny comments.
When the same kind of stories are told of fellow Japanese, they're portrayed in a much more sympathetic light and some of the stage-crew is even in tears.
I don't want to call it racist, but as I continue to watch, I never see them prove me wrong in this. Kind of annoying.
Also, let's not forget everyone breaking down in tears because they did a marathon on a bunch of kids' tricycles.
All in all, I'd still say the ratio between good stuff and garbage is about the same as anywhere else though. You gotta admit, Gaki no Tsukai and Sasuke are pretty fun to watch. America's been trying to replicate both of them for a while now from what I've seen.
+0
... written by NJ,
December 16, 2010
I'm sorry: you're wrong. Japanese drama's do have large budgets. And there are sequals to some drama's. (Hana Yori Dango, Lair Game...) Also the set might look cheezy 70's-ish, but the subjects they talk about are just as random and bizarre as Oprah's subjects. There are bad actors in Japan, but there are bad actors everywhere. Your "stage-actig" argument is wrong though. There are a lot of serious drama's with amazingly good actors. Some acting might be a bit outrageous, but compare this to "Friends" of "Will&Grace" and you'll see it's the same kind of "stage-acting" that makes the moment funny. Another point I wanted to make is that the visibility of the gay comunity on television to me seems like a good thing. Homosexuality is a part of every society and definitely does not belong in a freakshow. Kong fu is not Japanese, it's Chinese. I hate dubbing too. And discovery channel is definitly more interesting then those Japanese game-shows.
-1
... written by anonymous ,
November 17, 2011
i think that maybe the t.v shows are boring because they don't want anything that influence them not to work, or that it is better to do chores or go out lol, so it not as boring, but i wouldn't know just stating my opinion.
+0
... written by Another Joe,
December 30, 2011
My students here in Japan asked me what TV shows I like and I flat out told them that I think TV sucks in Japan,that the "tarento" don't actually have any, and that the cute girls on TV are no more cute than hundreds of girls I might pass on the street or thousands that I might walk past in Nagoya Station. Run on sentence, sorry.
There's always been a link between TV shows and advertising but at least creators of TV shows in North America and the UK usually have some kind of artistic integrity. Not so in Japan. Other than a few good anime, J-TV is slapped-together shit of the kind that has been rejected by American audiences for decades now.
Turning a travel documentary into a quiz show and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh generator for a bunch of morons (the tarento) robs the Japanese people of a chance to see the outside world in a normal light. J-TV reinforces the Japan and "Gaikoku" mentality. Even to the point that, when they show Japanese people traveling in other countries, and that person interacts with the locals, they're filmed from behind so that you can't see that the Japanese traveler actually speaks a foreign language. For broadcast they're dubbed in Japanese.
Ah, I could rant forever. Anyway, it basically serves two purposes. 1) to see things to people. And 2) to keep people dumb enough to buy the products mentioned in 1).
(example, In an add for cream to alleviate itching, it showed a person who had an itchy back but couldn't reach it to scratch. Well then, why not buy itch relieving cream! Of course, you couldn't reach your own itchy back to apply the cream, or if you had a friend who could put it on for you, they could just have scratched your back for free in the first place)
Ok, I'll stop.
+0
... written by Another Joe,
December 30, 2011
Above I meant 1) to sell things to people. Damn typos.
+0
... written by D S,
January 24, 2012
Oh, my God, I had to chime in. I'm still living the nightmare of Japanese tv and this assessment is spot-on. My tv is basically a gaming monitor or occasionally used for streaming. My favourite irksome thing is when a Japanese announcer is interviewing a foreigner. They let you hear the announcer's (often) deplorable English with subtitles but the person they're interviewing is invariably dubbed over. I probably read too much into it but it smacks of "look at how good out tarento's english is!" Eeeeeeeeeeeehhh!?
+0
... written by JTVSUX,
January 25, 2012
Hear hear to all of the above and then some. I can think of but a handful of times when I will intentionally turn on the TV here. One is for the sumo, which gets a good three hours of almost uninterrupted coverage in a day (and doesn't feature a rectangle at the bottom of the screen with the face of some person telling you how to feel). Once in a blue moon there is a program worth watching, but you have to make the effort to read the TV schedule to find it and that's too depressing to contemplate.
I recall having to sit through some crap a while ago where Julia Roberts was in Japan for some kind of promotional work, and a Japanese woman interviewed her. The whole thing was done via interpreter, which is fair enough, but right at the end the woman said, in English, "do you like Japan?" to which Roberts gave some well thought-out BS answer. The people in the studio then got incredibly excited and saw it fit to replay the question (the question only) five times in a row, as if to suggest that a Japanese person asking a Hollywood star a question in English was of similar import to the moon landing. The fact that there is a financial / political reporter out there (his name is Hidaka Yoshiki) who interviews prominent Americans about complex political and financial issues in what is near-as-dammit perfect English is probably totally lost on such people. Alright, he's been based in the US since forever, but that's not the point here.
It must be some kind of nihonjinron thing; there are some extremely good Japanese actors who do great work in movies both Japanese and foreign (Asano Tadanobu and, Watanabe Ken are cases in point), plus you have good old Beat Takeshi,who's better known here for dressing up as a chicken and soaking people with water, rather than as a director of fantastic movies blending utter serenity with vicious violence while making Ingmar Bergman look hyperactive.
Japan : making some of the best TV sets in the world and then flooding them with garbage.
+2
... written by jay,
February 01, 2012
the shows that annoy me are the trivia shows. if you dont know it. youre considered stupid. they put all these nerds on tv to make the people on tv look like idiots. a lot of japanese educate themselves from tv as well. trends, gossips, half the shit they mention on tv isnt as true. its the media controlling it. im not sure or i can be wrong that all tvs do that. but japans is pretty obvious with that. LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE LINING UP FOR THIS RESTAURANT. OMG! EHHHHHH!
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C-List celeb: "I actually enjoy eating ice cream while sitting on the couch at home."
Audience: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?!!?!?!"
I can't stand the "eeehh"'s